Shifali Dhingra

There are lot of great memories spent with Subra, Shifali & family. Lot of fun filled weekend parties, dances, playing dumb charades, antakshari, games & just having a good time at your home. From having  picnics at the del mar beach, diwali, holi, birthday celebration's, new year's eve. Shifali would always plan out some thing and get together all of us to have a great time together. We still remember watching Om Shanti Om movie together up close in the first row and dancing away to the title song. She was a wonderful human being, a very warm person & full of life. These great memories will always stay with us forever. May her soul rest in peace & give your family strength & courage to bear this loss.

"The life given us by nature is short, but the memory of a life well spent is eternal "- Quote from Cicero

I would like to remember Shifali, my sister-in-law as a lady with a lot of determination in all walks of life and definitely in making a great career for herself.  The small small things is what one's remembers' most.  As the song in the Hindi movie Anand goes - 'chhoti baaten chhoti chhoti baaton ki hain yaaden badi. 
I first met her at the Notre Dame campus when my brother and she were dating together and were planning to get married.  I remember going to a small restaurant along with my brother, her and some select group of friends for my brother's birthday. That was fun.  When she and my brother got married, they moved to Denver, CO.  Dahi wada was her specialty.  For many parties/picnics, it was always on the menu.  Also,  her bruschetta was great.  I remember her very vividly serving it.  She was also fond of her shoes.  I remember we both going for a shopping spree at The Flat-irons Mall in Denver, CO.  She also liked gardening.  In 2002, when my Dad(his only visit to US) visitied my brother and Shifali, I remember there was a great crop of tomatoes at their garden.  Also,  that year, we had fun during the July 4th celebration as a family.  In 2008,  when she was diagonosed with cancer,  she did overcome it.  When the cancer relapsed in 2012,  she told me 3 or four times, that now only the family and near-and-dear matters.  In her own words,  during one particuar conversation,  in 2013, she told me that she had wished that we had spent more time together which had become sparse after my brother, Shifali and kids moved to San Diego , CA from Denver, CO in 2006.  In July 2013, when I spoke to her,  she said that there was no question of her giving up the fight against cancer but parallelly she said that she would be losing the fight.  Dear Shifali,  you are deeply missed.  May your soul rest in peace.

For the longest time, Shifali Di was Nitin's sister in the US till our meeting at his wedding in 2005. She was a young, beautiful wife, sister and daughter. Very vibrant and vivacious, full of life. We spent some great times together there after in the US. Wheather it was the trip to Sea World with the family or her favorite beach Tori Pines in San Diego, she was a great company to be with and enjoy life's great moments. We spent a few nights just sitting and chatting over coffee and tea (she was so particular about the amount of milk in it) in Reno during Christmas in 2011 and dancing the night away on New Years Eve.It was simply wonderful.Although, she had been sick for a long time, she gathered strength and made the most of her time, to travel and visit new places. I will always remember her dimpled smile and the times we spent together as family. You will be missed immensely........

My dear friend Shifali, you are very sadly missed and no longer in our life to share, but you are and will always be in our hearts with great memories back from the Notre Dame days to Denver and then San Diego. Here are my top ten (following suit to Joy's).....

10.  No question, Picket Fences......

9. Story of snake in the bathroom while visiting India...... (again Joy can elaborate as she accompanied her and has the full version)

8. Getting stopped by ND cops for illegal parking on the school campus and Shifali helping me tell the story that saved us $25 parking violation..... 

7. Our trip in 2000 to Denver when Shifali introduced us to fine outdoors of Denver/ hiking/ camping...and then a follow-up episode in 2008 in San Diego hanging out at San Diego's lovely coast line & beaches....

6. Going to the Hootie & Blowfish concert in Columbus, OH with Shifali, Subra, Suhas, and Joy 

5. Getting a furious call middle of the day at work (Sept 1997) from Shifali when she asked why the phone company has disabled her line and her account balance jumed to $640.... (well, I was using her long distance phone card right after I was engaged, racking up the long distance charges)

4. Watching Friends/ Seinfeld/ and late night movies together with Subra and Shifali

3. Going for a run around the ND lake with Suhas and having both Shifali and Joy join us for may be 50% of the time and then disappear to some MBA after-hour prep session (or, was it to some party that I was not invited to.....)

2. Stopping by for great indian food at her ND apartment (besides all the great company at her apartment)

1. Perpetual hang outs with Subra and Shifali........ND and beyond......

Writing this note sitting next to Subra here in San Diego.......can't believe the reality we're facing! May her soul rest in peace and lots of strengths to Subra, Shruti, Richa, Shifali's parents and brother's family. 

Missing Shifali...will always remain in our memories......

Abhay
 

Top Ten Fond Memories of Shifali:

1. Had my first taste of chole from a lunch she packed for school (Notre Dame MBA). To this date, almost 20 years after, nobody has beaten her chole. And I have eaten a lot of chole...
2. Introduced me to my husband in school. Cautiously told me in the beginning not to expect too much since Indian men at that age was all about having fun. She was right but he wisened up in time.
3. Was my perpetual case mate in MBA class. I could trust her to always get her sections completed, she was a conscientious student and ever so reliable.
4. Picket fences.... would be meaningful to Abhay, Subra, Loki, and Sujatha.
5. She was my first (and only) stop on my way to MBA class. Her apartment was on my way to school so I would either pick her up in my red Honda Civic or pass by for her as we both trudge along the bitter South Bend winter weather. We had a third to complete our trio and Paola would stop by my apartment then we would then pick up Shifali.
6. Our spur of the moment trips to Chicago. Drive to Chicago on Friday night, eat at a cheap diner, then drive back, in time to see the sunrise in South Bend.
7. Nick's Patio and their egg omelet.
8. My first trip to India was with Shifali. Stayed with her family in Chembhur and ate a full blown, probably eight course Punjabi breakfast. I was floored!
9. Breckenridge, Co. Sipped hot chocolate and walked the streets of Breckenridge during winter.
10. She always said it to me as it is. No sugar coating...if I wanted an honest opinion, I get it from Shifali.

I only have a few regrets in life. I believe things happen for a reason, even those that are unfortunate and challenge and wear us out. Me losing contact with Shifali and me waiting too long to reach out would count as 1 of my 2 true regrets in life. I am hoping I can amend in the relationships that I have right now. Wherever you are Shifali, thank you because this is a lesson I learned too late for you and I but hopefully still in time for those I still have in my life now.